Oki doki, I’ve been busy for quite a while and it’s been a bit since I wrote anything. My goodness, it’s been hectic and exhausting! But enjoyable, so that’s good :)First off, fun Finland things I’ve learned and noticed. The grocery stores I have been to do not really do bulk anything. The biggest bag of flour I have found is 2 kg. Vanilla extract also isn’t really a thing here, they’re using vanilla sugar for the most part. Isn’t that Odd? Vanilla is apparently very expensive here, in all forms. I think I am finally getting the hang of how the grocery stores are laid out, which is nice. It’s difficult to find stuff when you don’t read the native language as it turns out
I got to go to a thrift store recently. It is quite a bit different from Canada, and I’ll be honest, didn’t love it. It is more of a mix of a consignment store and a market. There are small sections in the store, about 5 feet long each. People rent out these spaces and price their own items. So you must look through every section to see if the store has what you want. It’s a neat idea, but I found it frustrating. They also have thrift stores like we do, but I haven’t been to one yet.From the thrift store I went to I bought a blanket. I cut out a hole in the middle, blanket stitched it, and now I wear it like a poncho. It’s amazing.
We started outreach this week, and it’s terrifying. We did door knocking with a community survey on Wednesday. Lots of people didn’t answer the door, lots of people didn’t speak English, and the suspension between knocking and waiting is awful! We only really spoke with two people, one of whom had just about the saddest view of God and Jesus I have ever heard of. She said, “If Jesus really was God made human, then I think he came down to prove humans could be kind. He was proved wrong and now he has abandoned us.” I don’t think I have ever heard anything sadder. The other style of outreach we did was just going to the city center and trying to talk to people. Awful, absolutely terrible. I had zero conversations. I heard some pretty awesome stories from my classmates, but I have no idea how to start conversations with random people without a premise. Seriously, not my thing. But we are doing it every week, so I guess it’s gonna have to become my thing. I just walked around for the 2 and a half hours we were there, that wasn’t bad on its own. I have no conversations though, so that makes it bad.
Different topic but slightly related, I have realized now how nice it was at home living in a house of neurodivergent people. I have gotten used to not masking and having very ADHD conversations all the time. I have never realized how exhausting it actually is to mask All The Time. Lemme tell you, it’s exhausting. I have to fight not to be interrupted in conversations, and not to interrupt anyone. There are so many conversation rules to follow that I really don’t understand. I think this is, in part, why I am struggling with outreach. With nerotypical people, I let them lead and direct the conversation, it leaves less for me to figure out. But with outreach, I have to start and lead every conversation, and that is just really daunting, and I have no idea how to do that. Got a little off topic but going back, I am really used to being able to communicate in a way that is natural to me, and that is not the case here. It’s left me feeling a bit lonely. I don’t think there is much to be done about it, but to call my sister more often, I think. I’m like craving for someone to ramble at me, and who doesn’t mind if i intrupt them, and that’s not really something that happens a lot on its own. I also don’t know how to get people to ramble.
Now I am done with that slightly depressing topic I am moving on to the new speaker. His name is Marcel, and he is interesting. So far, we have gone over how and why the Old and New Testaments are connected. That is something I already knew, but it’s cool to see all the evidence put in front of me. Something that does bother me, though, is how much he uses Ellen White as a source. He puts very similar weight to her words as the bible, and that makes me a bit uncomfortable. I have decided to mostly disregard those parts. The things the bible backs up are fine and I wrote down most of the verses. We also only have one more day with him, I don’t know who is next.
Yesterday was the sabbath. I don’t love the church there, the people are totally fine and lovely. The sanctuary is sad feeling to me for some reason though, and the chairs cause me pain, so I end up walking around a lot during the service. Not that that is unusual for me, I don’t often sit through services. They also do something interesting with their order of events. Namely, they start at 10AM, but they have their sabbath school classes after service. Then, after that, we have a potluck. This week I sat with Sage and we had an interesting conversation about how you could construct a cloak for camouflage for all 4 seasons. That was a fun thought experiment.
Today is Sunday and it’s the day with the most free time. I have attempted to make lentil tofu, we will see how that tastes. (Monday edit. It tastes very strange and the texture is very weird. I have no idea if I’m going to actually eat it all or not) I have made myself a sourdough starter and now make my own bread. I have been enjoying the weather and sitting at the lakeside sauna most of the day, and now I am going to go back home and bulk make food for the next week or two
Till I next have lots of free time, Ahnikha
4 Responses to “Sunday the 7th”
Beautiful Ahnikha! Thank you so much for sharing that post. Thank you so much for your heart and how you are seeing other people and what you are living through. I loved reading your post. Loved every word.
I’ll try not to be a bother as I have two thoughts to share with you. Hopefully they encourage you, that said, please know that I am not walking your path and so I’m not sharing this as advice, not at all, but just hopefully as encouragement.
We were part of something downtown Saskatoon last summer where we were supposed to walk around and love on people. And I took a big billboard sign, and I walked around with a sign that asked people if they needed a prayer. and it was way out of my comfort zone, because I do not like to go ask people anything about themselves. For the first half an hour nobody came, and I did not feel comfortable accosting anyone, so I turned that time into changing the ground I was standing on into holy ground. Does that make sense? I prayed.
I prayed for the people who walk on the road. I prayed for the people who I was around, but didn’t want to talk to. I prayed for the conversations of people that were talking next to me. And I felt like that was what I was supposed to do. I hope you’re not pressured into talking past your comfort zone. But I hope if that encourages you, I know you do know how to pray for these beautiful souls around you
The second thing (because I know you are so polite you listen to me, ha ha ) is when I had the privilege of being in Scotland around 20 different people from 20 different places, I realized I interrupted them and jumped into conversations all the time. And I had to talk to someone and say “in Canada, we jump in when we’re excited.”
I had to explain that I wasn’t trying to be rude and I apologize if I came across as rude.
It was a huge learning experience for me.
To be quiet and just listen to the full sentence.
Not even just agree verbally with sounds.
And when I read your post, it reminded me of how I struggled with that for a few days.
I pray you will find someone that you can jump into conversation with and roll with it.
Hopefully, if you have an American friend or two there, you can chitchat a bit more with them, but I also know a certain sister who loves to talk with you too.
Blessings you beautiful heart.
Your family talks about you all the time.❤️
Hey Ahnikha. So good to hear from you again. Sounds like you are learning a lot of new things. I can understand the exhaustion with the overload of information and new experiences. I was also hit hard as to the woman who commented that Jesus has abandoned us. I think it’s more like people have abandoned Jesus by not following his commandment to love our neighbour. I think there are a lot of better ways to present the gospel than knocking on doors. A stranger knocking at your door most often means someone is trying to SELL you something. I don’t go to my door either if I think someone is trying to sell me something. Maybe instead go volunteer at some outreach establishment once a week where you can get to know a person or two before you start “preaching”. I know it works because for 2 years I went to a drop-in centre for street people where I got to know the regulars and most of them are dying to talk to someone who will listen. In fact, you don’t have to say much of anything if you don’t want to. Bonus is if you can figure out a way to be a neighbour to someone, find a way to get them some real help. I could go on with some of the other points you made, but I have done enough preaching for now. Stay safe. Looking forward to your next post.
Well I finally found you and have gotten caught up in your adventures to date. Very interesting, insightful, and appreciated. Wish I could comment on every aspect (as we would in an in-person conversation) but when bound by one finger slide-typing on a mini phone I’m forced to limit my thoughts.
I appreciate you finding time to bring us into your experience through blogging. I imagine your days are intensely filled and know it takes discipline to carve out time to organize your thoughts into sharable form.
I can relate to your analytical nature though I’m sure you may be a few degrees ahead of me. I have never spoke with a neurodivergent person on how it impacts them relationally, conversationally, and otherwise so this was somewhat new and valuable to me. Can’t relate to a desire or homesickness for chaos though! The more under control and orderly, the more at peace I am in my spirit. (Unfortunately, I exist in more chaos than I’d like due to the slavery of bad habits, so my poor innards never quire find the calm oasis I crave.) Interesting how we all experience the world differently, eh?
Your observations on Finnish differences (grocery shopping), put us in your shoes, having never been to Europe. You’ll appreciate referring back to these in later years when your memories fade. Having record and/or photos of these initial impressions will take you back and will spark other memories…speaking from experience having lived in Japan for a couple years (19-21 yrs old).
You are brave to leave your country, its language and culture, to devote 3 mos. to immerse yourself in spiritual growth and learning. (Sounds like flexibility in social interactions and teaching styles is another growth opportunity as well).
I enjoyed reading all the comments and agree with a lot. I’m not a door knocker either—almost question its effectiveness in this age and secular culture; however I don’t want to minimize the power of Gods spirit to set up ordained “appointments” with someone who is seeking—there are those rare encounters too.
At any rate, I’d love to hear a sermon upon your return to share with us what you learned, or if not that please volunteer for the devotional talk at our next Avenue Coffeehouse.